Meister's Birthday Wish List

Disclaimer: Benny, Wasted, Touch, Invisible, Effervescence, Ugly and any other girl, woman, female etc, The Meister is declaring up front that this post will contain references to certain things which you lot may feel uncomfortable about. So, you may want to skip this post. Seriously. Now, if you do go on and read this damn thing despite the warning, then

a. Don't judge the Meister (he is only human.....well mostly human anyway......to be precise half human....he is a half-man half-wus.....like a mutant...u can call him "mus")

b. Don't blame the Meister

So here goes....
Yes, it is that time of the year again. Another year has gone by and the Meister still has not died. But, there is hope. The way the Meister's Cardiac organs are functioning, this might very well be the Meister's last year on the doomed planet. So, with that in mind, the Meister wants quite a few things, which he otherwise he would not have.

1) He wants to see the Special One one last time...........unfortunately in view of the hatred that the Special One has for the Meister, chances are that this is something that will never happen

2) The Meister wants to see a naked woman.....in real life, not on the computer....only see, not to have sex or anything mainly because of Meister's physiological (conked out heart) and psychological tactile issues....he has problems with people touching him....(in fact the Special One is the only one with whom he can even consider or dream about having sex)...plus the fact that since most other organs in his body malfunction, chances are that his penis and bollocks will also, chances are that Meister will suffer from impotency, erectile disfunction and premature ejaculation, all of them.

Now, there are problems in this scenario as well...
there are 2 ways that a guy can see a naked girl
a) he can see his girlfriend, fiancee, wife
b) he can see callgirls and prostitutes

In the Meister's case both are impossible.
a) No woman will be nuts enough to marry him or be in a relationship with him

b) Getting a callgirl is not only out of the question, it is out of the syllabus....its just something that the Meister can ever do...period.....

So, since both options are barred, it seems that another one of the Meister's wishes will remain unfulfilled.

3) The Meister wants to see the team of thugs, Shrek and hermaphrodites coached by the Glasgow Beetroot get mauled, massacred, humbled etc. Them winning 5 trophies in a year is just evil. So, it is the duty of every self-respecting human being in this planet to try and ensure that this does not take place. The men in charge, mankind's only hope so to speaker is not that Whiner from North London nor the Harakiri champion from Merseyside but a stone-faced Dutchamn in West , a flamboyant German in Munich and a Spaniard from Barcelona. Come on guys "VAMOS"

4) The Meister wants to make his parents proud of him.....this invariably entails something to do with education and degrees etc.......the Meister is confused about what to do in this matter....and so it seems that this wish will also remain unfulfilled

5) The Meister wants to work with animals - full-time.......but the options and organizations are not there..:-(

So, 4 out of 5 wishes are going to remain unfulfilled, the other 1 is totally unpredictable.
So, it is more or less certain that once the Meister dies, he is goona remain in the doomed planet - --- as a damned GHOST