Few things the Potato learnt (got reaffirmed with) last week

1. Wimmin are nutters

Exhibit A: Sexy Auntie

Put on some weird concoction on her face. Rumour has it that its oatmeal. Now, why someone would put oatmeal on their face, instead of baking it into a cookie and giving it to the Potato is frankly mysterious and ludicrous. There should be a law against that. It was apparently as preparations for a jazz concert. It took her only 1 hour and 55 minutes to get ready to go out. 1 hour and 55 bloody minutes!!!! Its even more than the average extra injury time that the damn Manures get every match over at the Theatre of Screams.

Also, she has around 26 pairs of shoes.

Exhibit B: Jellio

Went to see an animated film - Christmas Carol by that depressed Victorian fella - and promptly got scared crapless by the ghosts in the movie. Rumour has it that she was so scared that she was shaking like a bamboo in a tornado. Apart from her ability to get scared by cartoon ghosts, she also has the quality of massacring perfectly good vodka by adding such silly stuff as lime (tons of it) and cranberry foocking juice. Apart from all this, despie being a Naga, she puts coconut oil in food.

Exhibit C: Don Violent

Obsessed with cummin seeds

Exhibit D - Ayush Prasad

OK, technically, he ain't a wimmin, but since he ain't a man either, he can be used as an exhibit. Its not exactly him who is the exhibit though, its the fact that all girls (at least the weirdos of Ciefl) seem to really like him.

Why women like Ayush is one of them eternal mystery thingies - at par with why Stonehenge was built, Atlantis, Nessi, Mary Celeste, Bermuda Triangle etc.

2. There is a French dude going around in CIEFL/EFLU called Hippo.

3. Coconut oil is a crime against humanity/menace to society.

Potato has a theory of why Mallus use that stuff

a. It is multipurpose. What the Mallus do is that they take that stuff and pour it over their heads while keeping their mouth open - they use it for different parts as it moves, drips downwards - thereby using the same stuff as hair oil, make up oil, body oil and food and drink.

b. The Mallus knew that the only way to save themselves from foreign invaders was to use coconut oil. Not a single race/group of invaders have ever managed to live in MalluLand as they could not bear the

1. smell (oh the horror)
2. the taste

All the invaders/foreigners either died or ran away.

4. Jimmy Mistry has the worst Hindi accent in the history of Hindustan. Ronald Emmerich has no clue about how Indians speak English.

5. Wearing trousers sucks

Meister has now lost his cell phone and recently his keys, all while wearing trousers. Its those big ass pockets. Stuff keeps falling out. There must be a conspiracy somewhere.

6. What goeth around cometh around

Well it does not do that for the Meister. In his case, what goeth around, keeps on going all the while waving its hands in air while shouting "tata", "see u in hell" or "foock off baldy". But in the case of the Irish, it certainly does. The Potato's whiskey drinking, golf playing, skirt wearing Scottish friend Hamish McSpud is of the opinion that because the Irish defeated Georgia through a handball, they in turn lost because of a handball. Something about karma being a bitch and revenge being a dish best served with potatoes.