Well, it has been an eventful last few days in the Meister's life. 

From Monday to Wednesday, the Meister kept on working and working and working....well you get the picture.  He was in office for more than 11 hours everyday till Thursday when he was there for around 10 hours. He only got to leave early because of Lady Really Talksalot.  You see the Meister wanted to give a treat to the Lady and so the Lady had come own to his office. 

I know what you are thinking....you are pondering why the Meister gave a treat to Talksalot.

There were 2 reasons:

1. The Meister is a NICE GUY

2. The Lady is a very good friend of the Meister (despite the fact that she has never invited the Meister for lunch at the Google office in spite of the fact that they worked in the same building)

Anyway, they had a nice dinner in Nan King and they went back to Talksalot's apartment where her roommate Lady Frustratedalot did not even say Hi to the Meister.  Moreover sho got upset coz the Meister did not divulge her blogmonicker to her. She got even more upset on hearing the truth that she will forget all about the Meister in 2 and a 1/2 half..max 3 years.

(Its the truth...everybody forgets the Meister sooner or later...its like the national past time...)

Anyway, on Friday morning, the Meister's oldest and best frind Brandybucks came down to Hyderabad. His train was supposed to reach KGuda at7...and so naturally since the Meister was there from 7, the train had to come at 9.  The Meister passed the time by reading Indian Express, checking out girls, talking to his mother on the phone and playing with a nice cute puppy..

Brandybucks came and the two of them started on their trip of Hyderabad. They went to Charminar,  Golconda and the City Centre (where the Meister bought a Spanish Dictionary). They also went to Eat Street where the Meister was accosted by two very hyperactive females who wanted their pictures taken.

Next day, i.e. Saturday The Great Indian Chunkubaaz also joined them. He, in fact, woke up early, shaved his invisible beard and put on about 875 gms of hairgel in order to get ready. 

They went out and the Meister got a call rom his boss about work.

Poor Meister had to get down and work in an internet parlour for an hour while his friends roamed around in the car. 

After finishing work, the Meister was standing on the road pondering about myriad inconsequential things when he saw a blind guy stumbling around. Being a good fucking samaritan, the Meister went and asked the guy if he could help. The Guy wanted to go to the Stat Bank, so the Meister took him to the State Bank and asked people there and the counter ladies to  help him.....quite a few minutes later (yes... the dynamic dumdums still had not arrived) the Meister again helped the guy to croos the road.

The car finally arrived and the 3 of them went to Salur Jung museum and enjoyed the clocks, the paintings, the sculptures, the weapons and and the assorted glassware (not to mention Mephistopheles and Veiled Rebecca).....the 3 of them also weighed themselves and while the dumdums got tickets wit ha picture of one of the Salar Jungs, the Meister got one of Mephistopheles...wuhooo....The Meister's weight came out to be 83kgs. 

Naturally, the Meister could not believe it and tried tio weigh himself on a different machine. This machine turned out to be a neurotic psychotic or in other words a feminist. It refused to give tickets to guys...3 of them including Meister but gave one to a woman!!!!!

The 3 escaped from the feminist weighing machine and went to the Zoo which is popularly known as ZOO Park. En route, the Meister saw SS's old hunting grounds - the High Court.

They went to the zoo and saw the sad animals and an even sadder human being who should be beaten up once preferably twice a week regularly.  The guy managed to piss off everyone else in the safari bus with his actions and comments.

BTW Chunkubaaz wasted 10 minutes taking a video of a turtle.

The highlight of the event though was seeing the white tiger first eat, then pose, then walk and then finally turning his ass to the public he/she starting to shit. (one small event for a tiger...a giant slap in the ego of mankind!!! hehe)

The Meister also slapped a kid because the kid was throwing rocks at wild boars.

On the way back, they got stuck in traffic but despite all efforts ofthe Hyderbad junta to the contrary managed to reach home on time and then Paradise on time....and had time to go and buy a pearl set for Brandybucks's mother. (suffice to say there was a couple of very hot chicas and 3 very irritating bongs in the jewellery shop.

Sunday brought a surprise in the form of Mr. Fawn (he used to fawn on a certain someone...though technically he wasvery sincere and really in luw). He is now back to India and is doing his Phd.  Good for him.

That brings us to Monday. It was Republic Day...JAI HIND!!  But guess where the Meister was? 

In office. Thankfully he got an early chutti and could go and watch slumdog millionaire with SS, the Birdgirl and Mausiji.  he soon realised that the whole purpose of the invitation for the movie was to get Spanish notes from the Meister.

The Meister being a good guy, came home after the movie and typed out last 2 weeks' notes for them and sent it to them around midnight.

It seems that the Meister is hell bent on proving the old adage - nice guys finish last - wrong, the new adage will be --nice guys neither sleep nor get invited to parties!!! :-(

Bunnymania is Running Wild

Well, this post is because of a request, order, suggestion, instruction, complaint pertaining to the fact that the Meister has never written a post about the 

Bong loving, 

Cluedo playing, 

Roll/Frankie eating, 

Vodka drinking, 

HP singing, 

Poem writing,

Hindi Film ka Posters missing

Soap opera watching, 

Shravan slapping, 

Deutsch speaking, 

Vizag visiting

Glass painting (she is a good painter btw....though the Meister concedes that in all matters art his knowledge and taste ranks between that of a moronic mountain goat and a particularly thick hippopotamus), 

Party hosting,

Meister tolerating (yep, that's true...she tolerates the Meister....a fact that should make her eligible for the Nobel Peace Prize...it's hard work tolerating the Meister you know...even the Meister often does not tolerate the Meister)

friendly neighbourhood heroine. (who btw also has a name resembling a certain animal famous for its reproductive abilities, the use of which prompted a war of words between the Meister and the Special One)

So, Lady Really Talksalot, this one's for thee.

The Meister first met the aforementioned lady in his 1st semester at CIEFL (that land of the free and home of the whackjobs etc etc). The Meister and Lady Talksalot became friends. The Meister liked her and her roommate...the one who was as strong as A MAN. They all used to hang out with His Gayness (who for some evident reasons soon acquired the moniker - Baldankur). The Meister has no problems admitting that he did not and still does not like the other member of that circle- the girl whose name evokes memories of insurances and mutual funds etc. That girl used to snap at the Meister at an average of once every 2.5 days.  

(The Meister hates it when people snap at him...though he should be immune..everyone snaps at the Meister sooner or later...its just a matter of time) 

Anyway the Meister and the Lady even had a class together - Prof Javeed Alam's Secularism. (Don't ask why the Meister ever took that one...he was hoodwinked by Dumbo Christopher who told the Meister that he would have to read only one booklet for the entire course)

Well soon Talksalot fell in louw with the Ganja smoking, Erasex smoking, Beef eating, Bike driving Bong and naturally there grew a distance between the Meister and the Lady as the Meister has never liked and will never like those snotty, hoity fucking toity, supercillious Xaverians. However, once the smoke cleared and the Eresexes vanished, the lad turned out to be a nice guy so everything's fine now. 

Anyway there was hardly any contact between the Meister and Talksalot for a couple of years despite the fact that they used to work in the same building...Talksalot never invited the Meister over for lunch or chocolate.

It took His Gayness's visit to Hyd last summer to bring the two close together again.  

Since then, they 

have had dinner a number of times, 

watched one of the most atrocious movies ever conceived by the human brain, 

have hung out a lot, 

have played a number of games..where Talksalot always wins albeit controversially..., 

have teased their common friend Lady Frustratedalot about her upcoming marriage, 

have designed rangolies during Diwali...no I tell a lie...Talksalot designd and decorated the whole thing- the Meister just criticised... 

have even got drunk together in the New Year's Party....(Meister's 1st New Year's Party btw)...

well Talksalot got drunk and started imitating HP...the Meister was in complete control.....

and have become quite close friends.

Unfortunately, they have really met since that night mainly because of the Meister's atrocious work schedule ( the dumbass is now working around 11-12 hours a day).

P.s: It has to be mentioned that while writing this, the Meister got a total of 43 dirty looks from all 3 of his bosses for wasting company time.

Death or Glory

The Meister has had enough.  He is hell bent on losing weight by hook, crook, sweep, pull, punch, claw, kick etc etc etc.

He has bought a new ab slimmer machine thingy and sources claim that every evening the Meister can be seen doind crunches or at least trying to do crunches. 

(The Meister is a bit worried about these sources actually...who are they? where r they from? and how in the name of sweet fanny adamas are they able to spy on the Meister??? The Meister is eagerly waiting to meet one of these sources so that the Meister can kick his ass.)

Well, who knows whether the Meister will lose weight or not.....right now his estomacho is muy muy hurting...bloody hell!!!!

The Meister has also called up a dietician lady employee of his office's parent company. She has promised to mail a questionnaire, which the Meister has to fill and send it back. Depending on that, the lady will plan a course of action with the Meister. 

Currently, the Meister is around 87 kilos.....he wants to reach the magic number of 80 by the end of the year...the world is agog......the intelligentsia is discussing the topic on every street corner: can the Meister do it?..........whatever anyone else is doing, the Meister is not holding his breath to see what happens coz.....well........its stupid to hold breath.......isn't it?

The Meister is hell bent on this mission...either he will lose weight or he will die in the process.....

Something's wrong in the Kingdom of the Kakatiyas

Fair is foul, and foul is fair: / Hover through the fog and filthy air

This stupendous piece of poetry was written by Shakespeare (who btw was a dude who knew a thing or two about a thing or two....though the Meister often wonders why the dude ever wrote about the nambie pambies like Romio and Juliet and that muppet Hamlet) and The Meister finds it is quite appropriate in today's market condition especially in Telugu country.

Issue 1

the whole satyam rigmarole

Issue 2

The Chunkubaz had an accident. The auto he was travelling in turned turkey. But the Chunkubaz got off without a scratch though he claims that another girl travelling in the auto got her head injured etc etc.....the luck of the Chunku strikes again

Issue 3

Hyderabad's resident superhero - The OCD Man has given up travelling by train. (You might be pondering why that is an issue...simply because OCD Man is obsessed with trains) The Meister opines that our superhero's 2 great nemeses - Butt Atack and Ass Push have finnaly managed to defeat him!!!!

Issue 4

The Meister's good friends SS and the Birdgirl made plans for a double-bill. They watched the 1st movie in Adlabs and hastily arrived in Prasads for the 2nd. They went into the theatre, sat down and was blissfully awaiting the start of the movie....when lo and behold (though not exactly appropriate, the Meister had been waiting a long time to use that expression :-) )...a couple came and politely informed them that the dynamic dumdums were sitting in their seats. Picture or imagine the ensuing confusion for a few seconds.........

.......done imagining? Here's what happened (to quote Adrian Monk, the greatest detective in San Francisco).....

The Birdgirl had actually booked tickets for the next day!!!!

So as a summary, all the Meister can do is to take off his metaphorical hat at the winsome twosome and call the security guards and ushers etc at Prasads - "Numbnuts!"

Issue 5

The Meister's colleague Vandy gets a heat allergy (according to her, not the Meister) in January, in Hyderabad and.....wait for it.............

...

.............

 in an AC room.

Issue 6

Uncle, Kifah and Premankur all contacted the Meister in a space of 2 days...which is highly surprising since usually nobody contacts the Meister

Issue 7

The Meister gets the highest marks in his Spanish exams (technically 2nd highest but well Shahir can be always be disqualified for 1. being the owner and 2. for.... well.....being Shahir). The Meister got 38 out of 50 despite the fact that he only answered questions worth 45 marks (the jackass forgot how to give directions and thus could not answer a question worth 5 marks). 

Another thing which the Meister wants to mention about Spanish class is the fact that OCD Man keeps laughing whenever the verb "poder" is mentioned...the Dimwit!!!!

Issue 8

The Meister gets a holiday  on 14th.

The Meister's Office

Disclaimer: Sissies and nancy boys who are squeemish bugger off....this post is not for you nambi fucking pambies.

So, now that the disclaimer is there, if you read further, you do it on your peril and don't blame the Meister if u get grossed out.

The Meister has found out that most dimwits in his company do not know how to use a commode.

Most of them do not put down the toilet seat and sit on the rim itself.  Not that the Meister is complaining----it means dry seat for the Meister whenever he is using it...

:-)

http://www.spanishinhyderabad.com/

http://www.spanishinhyderabad.com/

I know what u r thinking.....whats up with the link.....well this is the link of the place where the Meister struggles weekly with the language of them conquistadores....yep Espanyol

Well the Meister used to struggle with Espanyol before also...at the weirdly named Sui Generis....untill a silly ass cama and crashed into the Meister's bike...thereby indisposing him for a month...which meant that the Meister could not atend the 2nd part of the course....

So with steelly determination the Meister had once again gone forth to make an ass of himself every week.  

One thing that has to be said is that the course at Maitrise has some of the most eclectic bunch of students ever assembled under one roof...there is The Birdgirl, SS, Mausiji, the girl who brings food, Genelia/ Gunelia/ Gonorea/ Gunria/ Gunelia/ Gurenia/ Geronimo/ Hurelio...i just don't know the girl's name...but come to think of it it can't really be Gonorea now can it?..anyway there's also The OCD Man and The Tinker AKA RHM AKA The Resident Bugger.

The Meister had given (or is it taken) a test last week and is somewhat eagerly awaiting the results....critics claim that he may pass.....although the Meister (AKA DIMWIT) himself is a bit morose coz in the article where he was writing about the love of his life i.e. the Special One he forgot the Spanish words for hair, glasses, beautiful, pleasant, sympathetic etc etc...

the numbnut!!!!!!