Karma, Buggeritis and people who don't keep their words

Well everyone knows that Karma is a bitch...except in the case of the Great Indian Chunkubaaz. Being of a feminine persuation, Karma is also under the spell of that boudi seducing pillow thief, which is precisely why even her revenge on the Chunkubbaz lacks that bite. Even after not paying his bills, and swindling his company and stealing the Meister's pillow, he only gets a letter from the lawyers asking him to meet up and settle the amount..that's it. No police, no handcuffs, no kick on the backside.

The Meister's dear friend the Resident Bugger recently fell sick, so like any intelligent clear thinking person, he naturally did not tell anyone and starved himself. The magnificent moron starved himself for 2 whole days before summoning up the last vestiges of energy and IQ to call up MS. Things progressed smoothly after that(apart from the minor hiccup where the Bugger well bugged the doctor).

Anyway, immediately after meeting the doctor, true to form, he started feeling better and a couple of days later went to get his blood tasted. Here comes the strange part - his test results did not show dengue or malaria or typhoid or jaundice or swineflu - it came up with a whole new strain of virus hitherto unknown to man - H420V420. The scientists types are currently doing research on it but they have termed it Buggeritis in honour of the 1st idiot who fell sick with it.

While all this was going on, a certain friend and the meister fixed up a plan to go to the Bugger's house and get his medicine, money et all and to clean up his vomit. The Meister was gracious enough to inform the lady that he could meet her anywhere and anytime she wanted (as she had the keys). So what does she do - she calls up and postpones fiorst and thn messages to cancel the thing. The reason - she went on a shopping trip for a guest or something. Now, the Meister's problem and the reason he was pissed off like hell was this - when you give a word you keep it. Its true that such an attitude in today's day and world is stupid but hell that's what the Meister is like. He rarely gives his word but when he does he tries like hell to keep it and he sure as hell doesnt make plans with someone else.

Anyway, when the Meister first learnt about Bugger's latest bout of bugging, he was on a food date with Don Violent, where to his everlasting and immense shame he got lost while trying to find the loo.

You reap what you sow - silly foocking aphorism

You reap what you sow - unless you are the Meister, in which case you just keep on working and working and working, like that Greek whatsishname who keeps on rolling that stone up the mountain.

I really envy that fat assclown (the Potato, not the Greek dude). Well, obviously not his looks (the face that will crash a 1000 ships if it suddenly pops up on a dark night) or his physique (resembles a snowman..no not the abominable one).


I do all the work, and he reaps all the rewards.


For example, take last Saturday. Brownie was sick, so I decided to take her to Blue Cross. So I went to that den of whackjobs called Cielf/Eflu. I went to my ex-abode (which btw took away 8-9 years of my life via passive smoking, passive sniffing and repeated exposure to Ayush Prasad)
I roamed around the damn place and the campus but as usual could not find her anywhere. Then I learnt that some bastard had called the MCHech, who had come and had happily abducted 3 dogs.
So, I was worried. I called up the Violent Don, she called up more people...there was a flurry of phonecalls to find out who had called whom etc etc. A nice young girl whose name I have forgotten (hey I suffer from Mad Bull Disease, don't judge me) also came to help us. (There was another of those fox passing thingies...the young girl said she would come with us, I thought she said no.........never understanding what women want - story of my life)
We all decided to go to Blue Cross for further action. So, we travelled and we reached the Blue Cross gate and only when we reached the gate did we get the call that Brownie was still in campus. So, we went in and told the problems and fixed matters so that an ambulance would come in th evening to take Brownie away. By the time all this got over and Brownie finally went to hospital, it was about 5.

Don Violent then invited me over to her room for some coffee and UNO. So guess what happens?

I lose at UNO and then lose at UNO some more and then lose at UNO even more. Things turned really pathetic when thankfully I got an invitation to attend Sir Paunchsalot's birthday party later that night. I was all enthu, I came back home and took a bath etc and then......foocking fell asleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since I was sleeping, he went instead. And he ate, he drank and won 50 bucks out of nothing in a card game. He borrowed money from the Sexy Aunty, which he promptly lost. See, the problem was that he was sober when the game started. As the rounds progressed, he became significantly drunker and drunker and by the 6th or 7th peg, his brain was positively buzzing - result he won 50 bucks twice in the space of 3 rounds.

This is something interesting that I have seen before also - the progressively drunker he becomes, the better he becomes at indoor games. He positively kicks ass at Taboo when drunk, he is damn good at Cluedo when drunk, the only time in Monopoly when he does not get bankrupt is when he is drunk!!

Being a strict coffeetotaller on the other hand, I suck at all of them. I suck at these games more than anyone has ever sucked in the history of these games - nay in the history of history.

So I guess all of you understand my frustrations don't you. No wonder I am always depressed and sad and miserable etc etc.

But then I read this article and started feeling all right again.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/sep/07/charlie-brooker

After all, the Great A'tuin would probably finish his journey some day, not to mention the distinct possibility of one of the 4 elephants standing on him slipping (the 5th one has already fallen after all), and where will all of us be then? Huh? Huh? Not even Leonard of Quirm or the wizards at Unseen University have an answer to that..if you didn't understand anything of that, read Pratchett or you deserve to get your goolohoog head kicked.

Puts things into real perspective doesn't it?

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding

In all of the directions it can whiz

As fast as it can go, at the speed of light you know

Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure

How amazingly unlikely is your birth

And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space

Because there's bugger all down here on Earth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buqtdpuZxvk

It's a Disease

When you can hear a couple whispering "I Love You" in each other's ears from 200 yards away...

When you are surrounded by a bunch of uncouth roughneck savage barbarians wearing the yellow and red dress of East Bengal screaming and speaking in a language which does not follow any rule of linguistics whatsoever.....

When you see a bunch of guys pissing on a "Please do not pass urine here" sign......

When you see women walking around the street in their nighties in the middle of the day......

When you see thousands and thousands of people walking around on the streets wearing shirts, pants and hawai chappals.....

When you see a whole bunch of people shaking their head or/and using their hands or/and movin their whole body like a pendulum while listening to a msicall soiree etc, albeit without following any rhythm or beat......

When you see a whole bunch of people, who despite being primary school dropouts, arguing vociferously about something that they have no idea whatsoever.....

When you see a group of people truly believing that they are better than the legends of any sports......

When you see a group of people who can't even digest their food without sticking their nose into other's business and peeping into their neighbours' lives....

When you see a whole species of people who spend their whole lives trying to butter up to people and who can change their allegiances at the drop of a hat and will stab you in the back.......

.......then you know that either you are in an alternative universe where Fair is Foul, Foul is Fair etc etc.........

......or you are in Bangal counry

Disclaimer: No human being is a Bangal by birth.....Bangalness is like a disease, much like say HIV, its something that a person acquires.....some people are born humans, and then they become Bangals....and as cuch these creatures should not be shunned, they shopuld be pitied and helped.....and if they are East Bengal supporters - then beaten up.