Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The End

Here it is people, every good thing comes to an end. But then again, according to the survey and deluge of recriminations (I don't give a fuck if the spelling is wrong), the Meisterblog is not really a good thing. So, rejoice all ye bossturds who have had sense of humour surgically removed, ye have finally managed to do it - ye have managed to stop the Meisterblog.


Ever since the Mister started writing the damn thing, he had been inundated with complaints. Everybody likes to laugh at other people, but when it comes to themselves it suddenly becomes "oh no, how dare he".  Foocking hypocritical cowards the lot of ye.


Ye don't deserve to laugh or smile. Ye don't deserve the Meister. Ye deserve all the shit that the blog world throws at ye in the form of incoherent nonsense ramblings et all couched as post modern bullshit.


From now on, no more fun, no more humour, no more references to people, no more tales about the Meisterlife.


I will write what I want, when I want, how I want. I don't give a fuck anymore whether you read it or not.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Baldric and the Frog

Baldric being the Pegasus of the Flying Fatman and The Frog being well a frog, you know one of them members of the Anura cult.


Well, this particular frog has fallen in luw with Baldrick. He/she/it patiently waits for and comes to Baldrick once he comes home from work. Rumour has it that they have been seen sleeping together and all. Can't tell ye all about Baldrick's feelings though, the moody so and so is acting all pricey and refusing to talk to the Meister.


As for the frog, Meister has grave doubts about that fella's grey matters. Meister thinks that he/she/it is the Anurian equivalent of those whales who decide to get a suntan on the beach - in other words a dumbass.


Talking about frogs, Meister's friend the Anoian Tippytapper has been going around harassing boiled frogs in her dreams. Now the Meister is truly an expert in weird dreams - but this was a wee bit special even for him.

Now the Meister takes pride (wholly unjustifiably) in being an expert dream analyzing chappy, so here goes....


1. She is stuck in a rut and wants one of them prince chappies or knights in shining armours...ye know the ones who are tall, dark, handsome and whose teeth  go "ting" when they smile

2. She has a desire to become a supporter of Chairman Mao

3. She has fallen in love with Baldrick

4. She has unfulfilled ambitions to get the Nobel Prize for Zoology

5. She has become a supporter of France

6. She is extremely horny and wants a cunnilingual....and frogs r the best as far as tongues are concerned

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Lists

Meister likes cartoons. There, Meister has said it. So all you la-di-dahs can go ahead and sneer.

 
And to further give u material for sneering, Meister loves and adores the Hollywood fare as well.

 
So this post is about them - not the staple Hannah Barbera or Walt Disney characters, but the ones esp created for movies. Pixar and Dreamworks, take a bow.

These are the characters ye will remember till the day (or night) ye die. They have formed one of them indelible type thingies on the mind and heart. They are instrumental in making their films super duper hits n all.
The list below is not according to rank, so sireee...there is no way in hell anyone can claim that Donkey is better than King Julian or vice versa. In fact, both of them can be in the Top 10 Movie characters of all time ye know with Tyler Darden, Hannibal Lector.....wait a minute, Meister will make that list too

Animation Characters
  • Donkey
  • King Julian 
  • The Penguins
  • B.O.B
  • Po 
  • Squirrel from Ice Age

And that got the Meister thinking about some of the greatest characters them tv writer types ever came up with. These are the people who lights up the show, without whom the show loses its lustre and becomes mundane.

TV Characters
  1. Cosmo Kramer (Seinfeld)
  2. Homer Simpson (Simpsons)
  3. Denny Crane (Boston Legal)
  4. Gil Grissom (CSI)
  5. Baldrick (Blackadder)
  6. Spike (Buffy and Angel)
  7. Randy Hickey (My Name is Earl)
  8. Adrian Monk (Monk)
  9. The Costanzas (Seinfeld)
  10. Frank and Robert Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond)
  11. Niles Crane (Frasier)
  12. Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)

Movie Characters

  1. Inspector Clousseau (Pink Panther)
  2. Captain Jack Sparrow (POTC)
  3. King Julian/Donkey (Madgascar/ Shrek)
  4. Indiana Jones
  5. Joker v. Heath Ledger
  6. Smeagol (LOTR)
  7. Forest Gump
  8. Rocky Balboa (Rocky)
  9. The Dude (Big Lebowski)
  10. Vincent Gambini (My Cousin Vinny)
  11. Jason Bourne/John McLaine (Bourne, Die Hard)
  12. The Man with No name and Tuco (Good Bad and Ugly)
  13. Jubba the Hut (Star Wars)
  14. The Terminator
  15. Yoda (Star Wars)
  16. Anton Chirugh (No Country for Old Men)
  17. Maximus Decimus Meridius (Gladiator)
  18. Maxwell Smart v Steve Carell
  19. Ace Ventura
  20. Wall E / E.T.