Potato's Day Out

The Potato recently went on a day's outing with SS - to Purani Haveli and Chowmahallah Palace. Yes, the same SS who does not remember the Meister's name (although the term she uses is a sure indicator of one of them slips as propounded by that Swiss fella), calls him a member of the Singularis Porkus family - a greedy member mind you, and lists ditching the Meister as one of her principal hobbies.

They were both very excited about the outing, and observers have said that they made various plans. Since rumour has it that SS can't distinguish north from breakfast (or for that matter east, west, south et all), the Potato even did research and got maps and even printed the maps. What he got in return was the comment - "show off".

Well, talking of sense of directions, SS is definitely not the worst one here. The 1st Nawab was from Iran. He wanted to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca, so he got out of home and reached India. Legend has it that he was using a compass made in China.

Anyway, since this is the Potato, the night before the trip his boss (the racist bar stud, not the muppet) told him that he had to come and work the next day. Since the Potato has no physical or metaphysical conundrum in telling his boss "up yours" (unlike some other people who shall remain nameless who goes off to shopping sprees with their bosses, while ditching the Meister of course), there were some negotiations and it was finally decided that Meister would do the work, Potato would go for the trip.

So the big day came. The Potato went out and smacked into the 2nd Bermuda Triangle in the form of Koti.....none of the auto wallahs wanted to go there. Well, obviously someone did but that was after 25 minutes of 'nakkos, ledus and kadus'. This dude had no qualms about going to Koti, nor about taking shortcuts, nor about going in opposite direction in an 1 way street, nor about going through a lane full of shops selling women's underwear.

So finally, Potato reached the place. Naturally, being a member of the intelligentsia, SS was a wee bit late. {on an aside there is an Ashoka Stambha beside the Koti Woman's College gate...those of you asking why there? would get the cunningly created response of why not?}

So, with vim, vigour, enthusiasm, lots of water, and a map, SS and Potato finally met and hailed an auto. The 1st autowallah they hailed blandly told them he knows the way to Purani Haveli.....thus making the whole map making thing an exercise in futility. After passing through one of the world's most depressing rivers, some very old buildings, a terrorist hub and Princess D (don't ask the full name please) Hospital, they reached the place. Its a very old building built by one of the Nizam's sons. Nowadays, there's a museum on the 1st floor and a school everywhere else.

Only in India would you find a museum on the 1st floor - with expensive gold and silver stuff with a 161 year old guard who looks 232 - and physics and chemistry laboratories on the ground floor.

After buying tickets, and paying 150 bucks for camera permit (150 bucks!!! daylight robbery), the 2 climbed the stairs and went into.........................the biggest foocking wardrobe/closet in the world. Actually the biggest. Its bloody huge. And it has lots of clothes and shoes and hats etc of all the ole prince.......who judging by the clothes was a midget and a bit of a wanker...which self respecting male wears pink. No wonder all the intelligent or rich Telugus go abroad...who would want to live in a state and look up to the ruler who wears pink...disgusting.

They passed the closet, and went to another hall full of things which the princeling had allegedly used...his bed, stool, dressing table, pens, mirrors, religious stuff, chamber pots etc. At this juncture they got a guide dude. He was a very enthusiastic dude and took great pleasure in pointing out stuff to them. From this hall, they went out and came upon an ancient hand pulled elevator. The prince being a prince (and a lazy bugger) used to use this to come from the ground floor to the 1st floor). The lift is still working and both the Potato and SS took turns in pulling it.

After this, they entered into another hall....this one full of interesting stuff. Worth mentioning are all the silver models of the different buildings established by the Nizam - Osmania, MuzamZahi, High Court, Public Gardens, a Dam etc, lots and lots of letter cases - not silly ass envelopes, but actual intricately designed cases - and utensils. 1 particular utensil caught the Potato's attention. Its a big plate with grooves in it. The guide explained that it was specially designed so that all the ghi in the biriyani could fall in the grooves and the eater wouldn't have to stuff himself with ghi - apparently an old health measure...ingenious.

Overall, it was a lovely place and both Potato and SS were happy. Well at least Potato was, you can never tell with women. Anyway, they hailed another auto and went to Chowmahallah Palace. For those of you who have never been there, its a big ass complex with 4 (or were there 5?) palaces. Each palace had numerous old pics, furnitures, memorabilia etc. There's also a clock tower. And there's also a big ass fountain - cue muppets disguised as college girls posing in front of it and taking pics...numpties.

From the pictures it became evident that the Nawab family had some of the worst looking people in history. As ugly as...err....well at least as ugly as the Meister. There were also a few monobrows around. However, being as rich as Bill Gates, one of the Nawabs convinced the Caliph of Turkey to get his daughter married to him. That lady was beautiful, as was her sister, as is her descendants. The moral of the story being that there is absolutely no disadvantage in being rich. [So hypothetically speaking, if the Meister suddenly becomes a multi-billionaire, even he will become attractive in ladies' eyes....well nah not really there isn't enough money in the world that will make that pug ugly antithesis of Brad Pitt attractive.]

Back to the story. There's also a big ass clock - probably the cousin of the one in Salar Jun Museum. The palaces also contain a huge collection of swords, daggers and shields. A few axes also but alas, no maces. There's also an area where there are a number of old chariots, old cars and 3 old bikes - including an old Harley. Its almost 100 years old and dilapidated but still looks better than the Hero Hondas. It was in this area that some kids from an adjacent school waved at the Potato. It led to a revelation of epic proportions.

They met an old couple who were resting, and who for strange reason wanted to talk to them. The old gentleman talked about his gargantuan eating habits and his wife was very proud of it. SS got so distracted by their story that when she found a parrot feather, she happily picked it up and was about to put it in her hair when she realised that it was pan stained.

Anyway, overall it was a very satisfying and pleasing trip. Whilecoming back, Potato innocently asked SS what part she liked the best. She told him a few stuff which she liked. And then she told him what she really likes - young boys...or more specifically young boys in school dress.

u guys have dirty minds.....she meant the young kids waving at them and generally being all enthu