What IF?

The Meister was thinking (stop sniggering at the back you louts!!!!!). Yes he was thinking. He was thinking of one of them sci-fi (which btw some dimwits persist in pronouncing sky fi) situation type thingies....you know where a flesh eating bacteria or zombies or a nuclear holocaust or aliens have wiped off all the males from the planet....the Meister being the only survivor. Or even plausibly, women have evolved/mutilated and can give birth to other women themselves, and thus they do not need us males anymore. Human race becomes Female race. 

Into this type of calamitous environment, the Meister is the last surviving member of the species......the male species that it....

Well the Meister would immediately commit suicide.....you ask why?? It's simple really........

no males = no football

Even all the women players.......and the Meister accepts that there are quite a few good ones around like Birgit Prinz and Marta.....would give up football since there won't be any spectators and the whole species would be engrossed in the really important stuff like

1. sas-bahu programs

2. make up (which btw is the most astonishing thing the Meister has ever seen in his life....first the women put on the make up....then they use more chemicals to remove the make-up!!!.....and then applying more chemicals...  Putting make up on to look natural......that is easily the world's biggest oxymoron........unfortunately the modern day metro-fucking sexuals or what the Meister calls the luj characters have also fallen pray to this......these numbnuts do weird things with their eyebrows, shave their body hair, put on make up, wear pink.....which btw is just criminal... and in the case of the Great Indian Chunkubaaz apply Fair and Handsome)

3. dress

4. jewellery and accessories

That's it, the only reason the Meister is alive today (now that the Special One has clarified that she won't marry the Meister even if he was the last man on the planet etc.....) is to enjoy the beautiful game.  The only place where a hermaphrodite can become player of the year btw. Thus proving that football is better than anything and everything the Cultural Studies people can think of or devise. The only activity in the world where even hermaphrodites and ogres are not discriminated against.

Other reasons for committing suicide:

Absence of 'man'kind = 

1) only sas bahu type programs and films and stories etc etc

2) the whole world enveloped in pink......ohhhh the HORROR