The Accidental Meister

This post is about the numerous accidents of the Meister. 

It all started long ago, when the Meister was a wee nippy lad.

Merry go Round

The Meister was around 4 or 5 years old.....or possibly 6.......he had gone to visit Delhi, Rajasthan and Agra with his parents. While in Delhi, they decided to go to Appu Ghar, one of them amusement parks. There was a merry go round. A child version not the big ass adult one. The Meister was all enthu and boarded the thing. The attendant dude started it up....all good so far....Meister enjoying the view....the damn thing goes up top....and horror....it is coming down and the Meister's head is spinning......spit second decision and the Meister jumped.....being a natural athlete, he lands nimbly without any problem, stands up and.....WHAM........one of the seats, cabinets, whatever u call it comes and slams Meister's head from behind.

Cycle

The Meister had just learnt how to cycle. He loved the feel of wind blowing through his hair (stop the sniggering.......the Meister had hair...documentary evidence is there). He used to pedal very fast. So,

Episode 1: He tried moving on sand, and .....sppllaaattt...he fell flat on his face with his cycle

Episode 2: This is even worse.........He was cycling fast and took a right turn and ........well it was really a case of WHAM, BAM, PLEASE DON'T HIT ME MAM"....yep the Meister went and hit a middle aged lady and the enuing scene looked like this.......the lady is on the road, a cycle is on top of her, Meister is lying on top of the cycle...people are running towards the scene...hellbent on beating the bejejus out of the Meister......it was the Meister's natural charisma that saved the day and he could limp off without even a slap.

Cycle Rickshaw

He is perhaps the only person is history who has fallen off one. In his defence, he was only a kid.

Auto Rickshaw

Meister got down from a bus, the auto came and hit his leg. Stupid autowallah!!!!!

Bus

The Meister has so far fallen from a bus twice in his life.

The first time he just stumbled and nothing really happened. The second time he slipped while standing on the steps, fell down and was dragged for about 10 feet. Suffice to say that his shirt and pants were ruined and his body was full of cuts and bruises.

In another instance, the Meister got sandwiched between two moving buses...here also he managed to ruin his shirt, not to mention his skin....there were cuts and bruises all over his two hands.

Train

This happened in Rajasthan, on railway platform. The Meister has forgotten which city. But he remembers falling down while trying to get on the train....he was arnd 5, 6 at that time.

Tram

You are entitled to ask...how Meister how??? how in the name of hell did u manage to have an accident with a tram for crying out loud??? Well in his defence he was less than 10 years old at the time and he was trying to jump down from the thing.

Numerous Benches, Chairs and Beds

The Meister has directly or indirectly had many accidents involving furniture. 

He has broken Rima's bed and... oh crap he has forgotten the girl's name's ...bed. Before you uncouth minded louts go for any "ashlil" inferences, both occassions wre during parties and hangouts and the Meister wasn't the only one. A few guys were literally jumping up and down on the beds and they collapsed....the beds not the guys.

Meister once fell down from his office chair. He was leaning back and back and back and the damn chair just tipped over....to the great amusement of Vivek, OCD Man and Resident Bugger.....who forced the Meister to recreate it using slow motion. In fact Bugger promised the Meister that he will catch the Meister before he completely falls down...and guess what...the muppet just took his hands away at the critical part of the demonstration citing Meister's weight.

Meister once fell off his bench in college. He was leaning back and who knows what happened but the next thing the Meister knows...he is flat on his ass and his legs are richocheting off from the floor....well now that is one of the more memorable and pleasurable accidents of the Meister's life since....his legs moved coz of the whiplash and smacked right into the boobs of a girl who had come to see the fun or something........well that has been the only time and judging by indications will remain the only time the Meister touches the boobs of a girl..:-(

Finally while testing the new place for his new office he sat on a chair which started groaning and promptly broke into 3-4 pieces.

Kinetic Honda

Now we come to the high intensity ones....

The first time - he was coming back from 'Hech CU', it was raining and a moron on the wheels of an amabassador overtook Meister from the left and immediately cut in front of him...the Meister had nowhere to go, he had to turn right, the road divider loomd, the Meister had to break...the tires skidded and the Meister rolled over and fell.....luckily there weren't anyone behind...the meister got awat with loads of cuts and bruises

The second time - he was going to office when an autowallah suddenly broke in front of him without warning...wham.....Meister's right index finger is still not straight

The latest...well hardly latest it happened about 15-16 months ago...anyway....the Meister was coming home from office at around midnight...yeah yeah he is a loser...he knows.....near his home he had to take a right turn, he took the right turn and ....lights out.......he regained consciousness around 10-15 minutes later to find himself lying on the pavement with people looking at him, ...a car Ford IKon apparently had come and smashed straight into Meister's vehicle. Both vehicles were doomed, Meister's because of the car and as far as the car is concerned.....

At impact, Meister's body was thrown off the 2 wheeler and he fell on the bonnet of the Ikon. His head went and smashed the windscreenof the car. The boonet crumpled up. So overall in the contest between the Ikon and the Meister, the Ikon was the loser....go Meister

The Meister did not go unscathed though...apart from the routine scratches, cuts and bruises, he suffered from a torn muscle and his backbone and spinal cord ecided to wander around....they left their original place.......it took about 3-4 months of physiotherapy etc to finally get them back into place......it was fucking bloody painful to say the least

But despite all these, the Meister is still standing and moving and pissing people off....so the hypothesis nay the theory is that apart from numerous companies and the Special One, even Yamraj (lord of hell) does not want the Meister...poor Meister :-(