I really envy that fat assclown (the Potato, not the Greek dude). Well, obviously not his looks (the face that will crash a 1000 ships if it suddenly pops up on a dark night) or his physique (resembles a snowman..no not the abominable one).
I do all the work, and he reaps all the rewards.
For example, take last Saturday. Brownie was sick, so I decided to take her to Blue Cross. So I went to that den of whackjobs called Cielf/Eflu. I went to my ex-abode (which btw took away 8-9 years of my life via passive smoking, passive sniffing and repeated exposure to Ayush Prasad)
I roamed around the damn place and the campus but as usual could not find her anywhere. Then I learnt that some bastard had called the MCHech, who had come and had happily abducted 3 dogs.
So, I was worried. I called up the Violent Don, she called up more people...there was a flurry of phonecalls to find out who had called whom etc etc. A nice young girl whose name I have forgotten (hey I suffer from Mad Bull Disease, don't judge me) also came to help us. (There was another of those fox passing thingies...the young girl said she would come with us, I thought she said no.........never understanding what women want - story of my life)
We all decided to go to Blue Cross for further action. So, we travelled and we reached the Blue Cross gate and only when we reached the gate did we get the call that Brownie was still in campus. So, we went in and told the problems and fixed matters so that an ambulance would come in th evening to take Brownie away. By the time all this got over and Brownie finally went to hospital, it was about 5.
Don Violent then invited me over to her room for some coffee and UNO. So guess what happens?
I lose at UNO and then lose at UNO some more and then lose at UNO even more. Things turned really pathetic when thankfully I got an invitation to attend Sir Paunchsalot's birthday party later that night. I was all enthu, I came back home and took a bath etc and then......foocking fell asleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is something interesting that I have seen before also - the progressively drunker he becomes, the better he becomes at indoor games. He positively kicks ass at Taboo when drunk, he is damn good at Cluedo when drunk, the only time in Monopoly when he does not get bankrupt is when he is drunk!!
Being a strict coffeetotaller on the other hand, I suck at all of them. I suck at these games more than anyone has ever sucked in the history of these games - nay in the history of history.
So I guess all of you understand my frustrations don't you. No wonder I am always depressed and sad and miserable etc etc.
But then I read this article and started feeling all right again.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/sep/07/charlie-brooker
After all, the Great A'tuin would probably finish his journey some day, not to mention the distinct possibility of one of the 4 elephants standing on him slipping (the 5th one has already fallen after all), and where will all of us be then? Huh? Huh? Not even Leonard of Quirm or the wizards at Unseen University have an answer to that..if you didn't understand anything of that, read Pratchett or you deserve to get your goolohoog head kicked.
Puts things into real perspective doesn't it?
The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whiz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light you know
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
Because there's bugger all down here on Earth
1 comment:
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