Calls

Meister was looking at his phone and thinking how an extremely nominal number of people call him. He started counting and could not even reach 5. There is the twice daily calls fro mthe Esteemed Nuters of the Parental Persuasion and there are the more or less weekly calls from Sandman and SS. That's it......no one else!!!

Well, his boss calls, but that's either to give him more work or to give him galis, so that can be discounted and damned. MS sometimes calls, but that's usually to mke plans for a movie. Even dear old Uncle calls, but not regularly, more like once a month. Of course, Brandybuck doesn't need to call...since they have been best friends and talking from age 3.

This has pretty much been the theme of Meister's life. When he was in school, he used to get loads of claas. Ditto in college and university. But withing 6 months of passing out, the calls stop, the always stop.

All this really highlights the kindness of SS and the Sandman. Meister can't even begin to put into words how grateful he is to these two. SS, in particular, has an amazing knack of calling whenever the Meister is allowing in self-pity, misery and sadness - and she never fails to take his mind off his sorry existence. Well, Meister has a sneaky feeling that she is slowly becoming a saint. What else can you call a lady who is incapable of saying bad things about Quislex and foocking HechHar people??? As far as the Sandman goes, he is the Meister's best friend, barring Brandybuck of course, and is one of the nicest human beings around. If only he could stop his tendency to ask girls out for coffee!!!

Anyway, the point is that the Meister is eternally grateful etc to these 2 for taking time off their busy lives to talk to him.

Oh btw, the Great Indian Chunkubaaz also used to call the Meister oince upon a time. But ever since he got addicted to boudis and hair gel, he has stopped calling.

Planning for the Future - Exercise in Futility

What's d point of planning for the future? No seriously, what is the point? No one has seen the future, no one knows whats going to happen. So why thik and be worried about the future? Live for the present. Afterall, you can have life defining and life changing moments and not even though that it is the beginning of the rest of your life.

Same thing happened to me.

It was 1st semester in the looney den. I was standing for elections. I was campaigning. Sir Gaysalot was with me. In front of the mess he intrduced me to this girl and asked her to vote for me. Normal, mundane, everyday stuff right? Bloody wrong, who in foock's anme would have guessed that moment to be the changing of my life, the beginning of the rest of my life...hell even I didn't know.

She was just another girl. I had seen her before, during classes she used to sit in the front bemch of either the left or the central rows. She sued to hang out with the foreign kids. So naturally, I thought o000o another hoity toity. Well, 1st appearances are almost always deceptive aren't they?

Those of you who know her know that she is not hoity toity at all - nowhere near as hoity toity as the Xaverians or those poster people for hypocrisy - the cultural studies gang.

Well, my point is there is no way of knowing what the future holds or whom ou are going to meet or how big a part of your life the person you are going to meet is going to be. I never realised that when I first met her. Nor did I realise it for the 1st couple of months either, we used to hang around, chat etc. Nothing was amiss and then bam we had our 1st fight. I made fun of her when he had gone out for lunch as she was studying in the restaurant.

4-5 months we did not talk. 1 of those during the winter break. That was the 1st inkling I had that this girl might be Special, after all apart from football, I have never missed someone so much in my life. So, once I went back I tried talking to her and lo and behold she accepted. And that has been going on for the last 5 years now - I get pissed off or sad r something and stop talking for weeks or months and then when I start missing her way way too much, I again call her. She accepts every time (truth be told I am a bit surprised at that...I mean why? why would someone keep doing that?).

Anyway, back to the point again. The point is you never know what's going to happen and the best laid plans of mice and men etc etc. I never planned to fall in love, was alwaya bit of a misogynist and was always determined to be a bachelor. Still am a bachelor and will always be a bachelor but despite having no intentions to do so, fell in love.....thereby making my life unnecessarily more complicated.

So I have decided that from now on

1) its go with the flow time

2) everything looks better fter a few drinks (possible exception Ayush Prasad)

3) you can never have too much football

Ergo, get drunk while watching football, you really don't needto plan for anything else in life.

Mathew Harding's Blue and White Soldier

Well ever since the Meister and Potato met me, they have been bugging me to write something for their blog. I admit I am not as funny as the Meister or Potato. Plus, I don't know any of the people they keep talking about. So I was always in a quandary as to what to write for them. I asked them and both of them said that since hardly anyone reads their blog and almost noone apart from that Wasted girl comments anyway, it really doesn't matter what I write about.

Hardly encouraging is it? I don't know why they keep on writing though, because nothing's worse for an author than people iognoring his or her work totally. Even bad criticism is better than no response. But still its their blog and I am just a guest.

So I kept on thinking about what to write and then decided that I should write about what brought me in contact with Meister and the Potato in the first place - our love for football in general and Chelsea in particular.

I have been a Chelsea fan since the mid 90s. I have seen Ken foocking bates almost destroy our club, I have seen the Roman era, I have seen the Tinkerman losing us a match, I have seen Uefa not allowing us to win match after match after match. I have seen Gullit and Villi's artsy teams (Chelsea 5 Machester United 0 http://www.mychelseafc.com/reports/1999-2000/chelsea_50_manchester_united.htm...still brings tears to my eyes) seen Mourinho's juggernaut, seen the invisible Grant; seen Scolari fuck it all up and the Great Guus resurrecting us.

People keep harping about Roman leaving but hell if he leaves we will be better than when he came in, so that's progress and am not worried.

Which brings me to Ancelotti and the current season.

I am still a bit wary about the diamond formation 4-1-2-1-2. It didn't work during Scolari and its not that effective now. Against Villa, it didn't work at all. Didn't help that Villa played a blinder. It seems that it won't work against any team with good wingers. That's not a good thing at all. The whole problem is that with the diamond formation, there is too much responsibility and pressure on the full backs, they have to attack and defend. Bosingwa can't do both. In fact, he can't really defend that well.

So, as long as we have some backup plans, maybe a traditional 4 -4 -2 or a 4-3-3 or even a 4-5-1 or a 4-2-3-1, I am happy. Under Scolari we had none.

True we lost to Wigan but hey Titus Bramble happens. When Titus Bramble scores against you, it just is not your day, simple.

We are just 1 point off the top in the Prem and are the only with 100% records in wins and clean sheets in the Champs League, so signs are good. We thrashed Atletico 4-0, though they are crap at the moment, and Kalou scored twice in a game. That got me scared to be honest. If Kalou scores twice in 1 game, does that mean that the world is coming to an end?

Well, at least we Blues have a balanced view of the footballing world, unlike the Liverfools - who think that sun rises and sets from St. Steven's arse, or the Manures - who think that Lord God Fergie's purple nose is the sun and hence he world revolves round it and thus its normal that they get Fergie Standard Time.

Art of Writing

I recently read this small piece by the Special One. It was beautiful, highly depressing stufff, but beautiful nonetheless. I never knew she could write such good stuff. It was surprising. Well, come to think of it, it wasn't that surprising since hell she is a Ciefl girl after all. Well despite the fact that Ciefl does have its own share of idiots, people who can't spell their own names correctly - ala a certain neighbour of mine, and Ayush Prasad - who spills bullshit every time he opens his mouth or touches pen to paper or finger to keyboard as the case may be

Writing isn't easy, good writing is rare, hell judging by my colleagues even grammatical writing is gut wrentchingly difficult, so to see such a nice piece of writing all of a sudden was very nice. What attracted me was the way the feelings of a youg child was portrayed so realistically and convincingly.

I have no hesitation in saying that I will never be able to wrie something like that, but then again serious stuff is not exactly my forte. My forte is more in the lines of making people smile, chuckle, laugh, shake their heads in exasperation or exclaim "What the fuck is wrong with that bald fuck? How the fuck can he write fucking trash like this? etc etc" Deep thinking, introspection or talking about issues won't happen after reading my stuff. So I won't even try.

But all this writing stuff got me thinking - what if I was a screenplay writer you know. Well, here's what would have happened. The world would have been saddled with the following immortal lines

Frankly my dear, I care more about football (Gone with the Wind)

With great power comes great responsibilty, so appoint a good manager - call Guus Hiddink (Spiderman)

I will be with John Connor. Call him to pass on any messages. (Terminator II)

They may take our lives, but they will never take our chocolate chip cookiieesssss (Braveheart)

Hasta la manana baby (Terminator II)

Riddle me this riddle me that Who is afraid of a big giant gnat? (Batman Forever)

I am the best wanker in the world (Titanic)

So, on hindsight, it is a good thing that I am not a screenwriter.