A few of you had recently asked why the Meister had been in a funk lately. Well here goes....
Reasons for Meister's latest bout of dumdumness can be categorised in the following ways.
a. Office
This has to do with el bastardo, Meister's boss. The dynamic dumbass forced the Meister to stay in office till 11 and why? Because His Dastardiness had gone cavorting with some client in the afternoon and evening. That coupled with the attitude that Meister's work is never good enough, even if Meister follows instructions to the inch. In such cases, as he cannot say anything else, he will play the ultimate trump card - client feedback.
b. Health
Meister really doesn't need to say anything about this now does he? The whole of last week, he was suffering despite taking all his medicines dilligently etc etc Also, the lack of sleep had taken a huge toll......by the end of the week, he had run out of fuel as well as reserves....he was tottering around on fumes.
c. Lady Talkslalot
Last weekend, Meister, upon hearing of the existence of custard, had invaded Talksalot's premises, for said custard. In the ensuing conversations, Meister got to know that Talkslaot had a recent hike. Meister demanded a party or rather food. Talksalot said she will. On Tuesday, while chatting, when Meister asked her about time and place, she ran away (virtually of course) and wnt AWOL. Her excuse later was that she didnt see the chat message. She did offer to give him food but the Meister doesn't want pity food.
d. Dreams
Ahhh, Freudian territory.
Meister had a dream, involving You Know Who. Now Meister usually only dreams about football, so this was weird.
In the dream, Meister was going to office in a train (probably MMTS). He was with some unidentifiable friend. All of a sudden he saw You Know Who going into the ladies compartment. He was astounded, astonished, flabbergasted etc etc. He couldn't believe his eyes. He asked his friend did you see her? Is she really there? Whats she doing there?
Imagine Meister's consternation when the friend told Meister that she had married Kirti (don't ask why, no clue why his name came into the procedings...hell at least it wasn't Ayush Prasad.....that would have prompted Meister to drive to the top of the STFLMNDI overbridge, drink a bottle of rat poison, stab himself multiple times with a knife and then jump from the top of the bridge in the path of an incoming train) and had been living in Hyd for the last 1 year. Meister was heartbroken, and so devastated that he woke up.
Now the Meister has rationally (or what goes for rationale in his head anyway) analysed the dream and he has come to this conclusion. Its not the fact that she has married.....just because the Meister can't marry doesn't mean that she shouldn't....Meister is perfectly reconciled to hear about her marriage at any moment of time. What hurt the Meister was the fact that she didn't even tell the Meister...well she didn't really have to, but it would have been nice tho......its as if
i. Meister doesn't matter...which is sad
ii. she doesn't trust the Meister in some ways...which is also sad
e. Ayush Prasad
A lil bit of him is ok, say for 13 seconds...but a whole lot of him just drives the Meister bananas.
3 days of Ayush brings Meister to suicidal or homicidal territory.
What makes it even worse is that he had promised Don Uber that he won't be nasty at Ayush. When Meister makes a promise, he keeps it......but man alive it was harsh...it was easily one of the closest Meister has ever been to breaking a promise.
Meister can't help it. The moment Ayush's mouth opens, Meister itches to kick him in the bollocks.... and this despite the fact that Meister belives and practices that ancient gentleman's code... Thou Shalt not Kick Thy Opponent in the Bollocks
f. Ayush has a girlfriend
In fact he had 1 earlier, now he has another one. James Michal has had gfs, despite him thrashing them. Shray has/had 1. The Great Indian Chunkubaaz had had about 3 dozen. Every Tom, Dick and Son of a Mongoose has, had, will have gf(s).
Noone for the Meister. None. Not even 1. No woman, not 1 woman has ever liked him or loved him enough and is ever likely to (his mother and grandmother don't count).
g. Uber
Uber came up and told the Meister that she is going to make it up to him. Extremely kind of her and all that but Meister is not used to that kinda kindness and it just makes him confused.
It made him think about how he comes off - does he come off as a person who keeps a track, a ledger of favours etc? Its not as if he was helping the kid as the kid is a friend.
He would have done the same or whatever else required for anybody in the world - even Tasneem and Ayush. Honestly. Ok, after his latest revealations, maybe not Ayush.
h. Everyone shouts at the Meister
Everyone. Well almost everone. (In his 28 years of existence, there is just 1 person who has never - Merryaduck Brandybuck, Meister's friend from the age of 3.)
It doesn't matter what Meister does, how he behaves, sooner or later he pisses off and irritates everybody....with the result that they shout at him.
Everytime Meister thinks that ok, maybe this time there won't be a shout.......disappointment every time. It has come to such a situation that he expects to be shouted at every day, any day, any moment. To him it has become a matter of when, not if. Just like a dhobi's gadha who knows the whip is coming, Meister also knows that its coming.
It makes the Meister want to just throw in the towel and just to end it all.
So now you all know. Enough of this type. The regular Meister will be back with a new post in no time.
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:)
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