Wednesday, February 10, 2010

One Wild Night

And before you luj characters start gallivanting at the prospect of hearing about some salacious details, let Meister remind you that this is Meister we are talking about.
So no sex, no drugs, no alcohol, no rock and roll, not even a kiss...
oh hang on a minute, technically there was rock and roll..... on the Meister's computer.


The wild night of Meistric persuasion contains work, more work, some more work, a racist mysoginist boss, power cuts, absence of coffee and the police......and lest the Meister forget, pubic hair straightener (anyone commenting on the spelling will get a look of disdain, you know the sort of look that Meister gets from human beings whenever they see him or the look that antels and assorted intelligentsia of Nutters and Luj Characters University [formerly Central Institute of Nutters and Luj Characters] give the Meister when he claims that he has an IQ of over 130....seriously he does....according to all them tests...but alas noone believes him).


As an aside, talking of the University reminds the Meister about the 4 schools that are present and inhabited by the antels and the intelligentsia


School of Literature - Walking with noses pointed towards the sky and writing crap in such a way that nobody ever understands anything anyway...its been going on for such a long time that neither the teachers nor the students understand anything and have no clue whats being said or written and have found recourse in calling a spade a soil redistribution equipment


School of Linguistics - Admit it dudes, you all wanted to study science, you flunked in either physics or chemistry or maths or stats (or in the Meister's case everything), and studying Linguistics gives an ego massage....at least you are studying some sort of science eh...it also gives an excuse or opportunity to pretend what you are doing is extremely serious


School of Cultural Studies - All hegemonistic upper caste males should be killed...whoever shouts that the loudest gets O grades...that taken care of, everybody can go about doing what they really came to the University for, to whit sleeping around...well for 2 years anyway...and then once course is over, to fall over themselves to get jobs in multinationsl corporations.


School of ELE - Timepass


Well, there are a few weirdos around who seem to genuinely like their subjects etc, plus there are some ubers also, they are excused.


Anyway rant over, to come back to topic


Meister ended up staying and working in office till 11 in the night...no Meister shouldn't tell a lie...it was 10.50 not 11....chi Meister chi....Anyway, at least he got free dinner for his troubles.


At 11, with tottering footsteps and drooping eyelids, Meister started on his electric scooter to go back. Around Secunderabad, a policeman flagged him down - reason breathalyzer.


Yes people, the Meister got his 1st breathalyzer test thingy done. wuhoooo


Naturally, to the intense disappointment of the policeman, it came out zero. However, the eyes of said policeman was a sight to behold, especially when the Meister took off his helmet.

Anyway, after that stimulating sojourn, Meister went to University, and to his intense humour, found it plunjed in darkness. He heard that it had been like that almost the whole day - although the construction site and the shanties had power...go figure.

As there was no power, alas there was no coffee. So, Meister went to the tea shop. He found tea. He also found assorted idiots, assorted dogs (including everybody's favourite stupid bastard Jimbo), and assorted foocking mosquitoes. And he also learnt that there is something in this world called pubic hair straightener, and that it is a perfectly acceptable birthday gift.

Oh, before the Meister forgets, there was also a

fffiiiggghhhhttttttttttttt

Well, the world's most depressing fight, but a fight nonetheless. A couple of East Asian dudes got drunk and slapped some Indian muppet. So, to take revenge, assorted heroes went to their apartment with the intention of beating them up. Unfortunately, their mission was foiled. 2 reasons

1. they got stopped by a female of sumo wrestleresque proportions who flatly refused their plea to enter
2. they found out that the winsome twosome had in fact beaten each other up in a drunken stupor

And oh, how can the Meister finish a post without mentioning what happened early next day.
Succintly put, Meister beyomped his head rather badly. Its the same as bumping your head, but done with style.

Meister had headache all day.

3 comments:

myriadmind said...

All hail the meister! As an aside how do u manage to get into such interesting situations day in and day out to be able to pen down such heroics?

Or should it suffice to say:
"Kelo Koreche!"

Unknown said...

why no mention of the friday night drama...I was hoping to get a detailed version in your blog, knowing you & Ayush joined hands for the cause :P

Unknown said...

@ myriad: either all situations are interesting (those involving Ayush Prasad xcepted of course) or none are

@ wasted/Runa???: hell, everyone knows about it anyway, a post on Ayush however is on the making