Kooky people, these doctors

Well, it was time for the Meister's quarterly visit to the land of the sickos. So Meister went to Yashoda.




And found out that his cardiologist has run away....... yes people facing the prospect of facing the Meister again, the dude just quit.

And so began Meister's bugging of the recpetionists et all to give him another doctor. However, whoever they called up seemed to be mysteriously either out or away or busy. Finally after what seemed like an eternity (15 mins) they found dude who was stuck in the ICU/ICCU.

So off Meister went to the 4th floor and met the doctor (nice lad) who took one look at the Meister and shouted "lose weight you fat bastard". he also told Meister to undergo a plethora of tests. A dispirited Meister trudged back.

Next day, with encouragement from parents and curses from his boss (Meister had to take a half day) Meister went back to get his tests done.
After paying what seemed like the GDP of a small nation, they allowed the Meister to proceed to room 1 where a muppet took a bigass syringe and plunged it straight into Meister's veins and drew a few litres of blood.

Then they kicked him out.


So the Meister was loitering around the hospital pointing at sick and injured people calling out "muppet" etc when a nurse came and gently and firmly took him into a room, ordered him to take off his shoes and shirt (not his pants...noone wants to take off the Meister's pants...sigh poor Meister), lie down on a bed and then poured about a litre of gel. The Meiter, utterly bewildered and feeling like the Great Indian Chunkubaaz's hair, was wondering what the hell was going on when this dude who looked like a wrestler came up and started navigating all over the Meister's chest with a joystick. Apparently, they were taking a picture of the Meister's heart or something.



Why anyone would want to take a picture of the Meister's heart is flabbergasting.........


Weird people these doctors.



Anyway, once they finished taking pictures of his heart, they dragged him to another room and this time poured a litre of gel on his tummy. Meister was highly indignant and was shouting at them to stop messing around with his tummy. They ordered the Meister to "shut the foock up fatso" and told the meister that they are going to do some Renal Artillery Doffler.

Meister got scared, artillery activities inside the tummy are never a good idea. The Meister was about to protest vehemently and quote the Rights of Man when they explained to the Meister that it's not Artillery but Arterial. They told the Meister that they would take pictures of the Meister's kidneys and renal artreries etc.



Strange people, these doctors.





Anyway, then the nurse left and brought on reinforcements in the form of a lady doctor. She also came armed with a joystick, but she took one look at the Meister's exposed tummy and ran away shouting for mummy etc.

So now it was the turn of a really senior doctor. He came with a joystick and immediately ordered the Meister to hold his breath and started to poke and prod his tummy. Apparently the apparatus etc couldn't see anything because of the presence of an immense quantity of fat. So the docotr rolled up his sleeves and decided to really have a go. It was borderline grievous bodily harm (a certain Uber's speciality).



The Meister is sure that irrep....irrev....irre..... some serious harm was done to his kidneys etc.



Anyway armed with the plethora of test reports, Meister went in search of the doctor. He found the doctor hiding in the ICU/ICCU. Upon seeing the Meister the doctor again shouted "didn't I tell you to lose weight you fat son of a mongoose". With a weary sigh and incessant grumblings et all the doctor looked at the reports and prescribed a plethora of medicines and ordered Meister "to take these medicines untill and unless he felt like he is dying.....upon which he should go and jump into the Hussain Sagar."




Peculiar people, these doctors.