Moi Oyis Moi Oyis

Meister had pain in his oyis, so Meister went to the opthalm....optom.... eye doctor dude.

He happily went and sat down in the chamber and the doc asked him what's wrong.

Meister replied: "Moi oyis hurt". The doc said "hmmm" and then he asked the Meister about his profession, lifestyle etc. Upon hearing that the Meister is a wanker, he said: "you are a pervert you sick bastard".

Meister said: "naaahahaaa... I wank only at home in complete privacy, if you want to see a pervert, then look no further than Jonny Honey. We even have a song for him......

"Some men like women

And some men like men

And then there's Jonathan

Who just goes around touching himself

Lalalalalalallalalla..........."

And he does that anywhere and everywhere

The doc became all serious and stuff and declared: "I am gonna test your eyes. So sit there." Meister sat, the doc ordered him to "open wide" - his oyis of course. So the Meister made his oyis as big as possible, upon which the doc poured some acid into them.


Yes, people, the sick son of a mongoose poured some acid into the Meister's oyis.


Meister started writing in pain and shouting "moi oyis, moi oyis" and "why doc why?"


The doc laughed in a theatrical manner and declared: "I am an agent of the Great Indian Chunkubaaz and I have been ordered to hurt you and torture you by the great one himself. I have been waiting for my chance for 5 years now. Now I will make you sumbit in the altar of the Chunku"


Meister shouted: "Neverrrrrrrr, you may take moi oyis, but you will never take moi....err....what do you want again?"


Doc said: "I want you to conced to the Great Chunku"

Meister said: "No way, do whatever you want, I dare you" - which on hindsight was not a smart thing to say, but hey what the hell, whatever else he might be, noone can accuse the Meister to be smart.


So, the doc started paper whipping Meister's oyiballs.

Meister started shouting: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but paper whipping will only make my cry"

The doc got all confused and said: "Eh? That does not even rhyme!!"


The Meister replied: "Its post-modern"


The doc then said: "Hmmm, it seems stronger measures are necessary. I didn't want to do it, but you made me do it. Now there's no turning back." And he brought out a contraption which closely resembles an iron maiden (the medieval torture device, not the muppety rock and roll version).

He put the Meister's face into it and then started poking Meister's irises with a poking thingy and beamed compious quantities of laser stuff into his eyes to make him blind. He started shouting: "So, Meister, do you want this to stop? All you have to do is to declare that the Great Indian Chunkubaaz is god's gift to boudis!!"

Meister said: "Oi am a man of moi words. Oi have already declared that

a. there is no god

b. the Great Indian Chunkubaaz is mother nature's gift to the hair gel industry

So, there is no way in hell Oi am declaring anything else. "

The doc looked at the Meister in awe and wonder and respect and said: I concede. Now I know why the Great Chunku is so scared of you. You are the 1st person who could resist the torture."

Meister replied: "This was nothing. Nothing Oi tell ya. Recently I survived an experience so horrible, so horrific, so horrendous, so hideous, so heinous, so abhorrent, so inquitous, so flagitous, so despicable, so repugnant, so execrable, so nefarious, so pernicious that after that everything else looks like breakfast, nothing on earth, hell, purgatory or Pakistan can even come close to that torture."

Doc asked: "What happened?"

Meister replied: "Oi had to look at and listen to Ayush Prasad continuously for 3days"