Meistelligence Quotient

When Meister was a wee lil nipper and has not fully metamorphosed into the complete basketcase that he is today, Esteemed Nutter of the Maternal Persuasion once took him to one of them Psycho dudes. Come to think of it it was after them days when Meister got hold of a scissor and cut away clumps of his own hair....hmm


Meister was told that they were going to conduct one of them IQ test thingies.


Them IQ thingies eh, supposedly they measure a person's intelligence.


Anyway Meister sat down to take the test......the dude kept showing the Meister them shadow picture thingies..................Meister kept on guessing its a footy match, its a tackle, thats a goal, thats a red card, thats offside, thats a naked woman, that's 2 naked women eating cake etc etc, and the investigator dude kept on sighing and shaking his head...


Once the test got over, Meister went and sat in the corner and chatted with the voices in his head while the dude talked to the Esteemed Nutter. Meister later asked the Nutter how good he did and the Nutter told him "you did well", "you are special sunshine" etc. She did have tears in her eyes at the moment. Meister thought thats tears of pride (later events and Meistric actions have confirmed that they were tears of sorrow, misery heartbreak etc etc).


For a long time, Meister could not figure out how the calculation etc was done though.....


It was only recently that after intense cogitation............. (Meister loves that word - cogitation - it makes the Meister feel like he is doing something worthwhile, instead of, you know, his typical stance of staring vacantly in spcae and dreaming of cake - Meister is cogitating seems so much better than Meister is thinking of cake).......................that Meister began to suspect that something was amiss. It couldn't have been an IQ test. It could only have been a psycho test where the results predicted how the Meister was gonna end up.




Anyway to come to the subject of IQ test,

according to Free-IQTest.net, Meister has a score of 142,

according to iqtestfree.net
"Number of correct answers: 10/10



Your level: Very superior intelligence. Are you a possible genius or near genius? 1% of people who passed the test got this score."

according to IQtest.com, it is 130

accroding to intelligencetest.com: "Your age adjusted IQ score is 129 and the average score of all test takers is 100."

and according to http://www.highiqsociety.org/iq_tests/testresults_pass.php

"YOUR IQ SCORE IS:


125

Your score places you in the top five percent of the population"



So despite claims and beliefs of certain section of the poluace who go around quoting Foucalt and Derrida and use words such as hegemony and post-modernism, it seems Meister is quite as smart guy (though being a complete basketcase).


Very nice, high five etc etc.



Anyway, according to http://www.iqtest.com/faq.html#chart
 
Intelligence Interval Cognitive Designation


40 - 54 Severely challenged (Less than 1% of test takers)

55 - 69 Challenged (2.3% of test takers)

70 - 84 Below average

85 - 114 Average (68% of test takers)

115 - 129 Above average

130 - 144 Gifted (2.3% of test takers)

145 - 159 Genius (Less than 1% of test takers)

160 - 175 Extraordinary genius


So even according to the chart, Meister is gifted. But enough about the Meister, let's talk about the ones on the other side.


As you can see above, 40-54 are considered severely challenged.


Meister wants to add a few more levels though.


25- 39 - imbeciles (examples of this lot can be found amongst people who believe that the sun rises and sets out of Lord Fergie's nose)

10 - 24 idiotic mornonic dumbasses (examples of this lot can be found amongst the dog killing intelligentsia of EFLU and amogst the HR Department of every organisation in the world)


That brings us to an IQ level of less than 10.


Is it possible you ask?


Yes people it is possible. Although to be fair, only 1 creature in the planet has ever managed to attain such a nadir.


Truth be told, there is a school of though which belives that said person should either have 0 or possibly a
-ve IQ level.


However, most critics have rightly opined that anyone who can exhibit such an astonishing level of hand-eye-bollock co-ordination as to burn his own bollocks deserves a positive IQ. However considering that the man is incapable of rational or logical thought and that only bullshit comes out of his mouth, he can't get more than 10.



Ladies and gentlemen, the Meister presents to you - Ayush Prasad.