Horrible

The last few days have been horrible for the Meister.  Yep, you guessed it right...the fever is back!!!! It has become like a regular friend now, one who comes once a month, stays for 3-5 days and then goes away. 

What it also means is that for the 1st time ever, the Meister is going to bunk his Spanish class, despite being in Hyderbad. Hell, the dude even went to his class at Sui Generis 3 days after his life threatening accident (which, btw, was all Shahir's fault!!). 

But, this time he is just too bushed, knackered, tired and exhausted to go to the class. 

But that's not all.....the Special One has stated (in writing) that it is not worh talking to the Meister.

It wasn't surprising, the Meister was expecting something like this for a long time, the Meister knows that its not worth talking to the Meister, but coming from the Special One it was very hurtful nonetheless :-(

To put icing on this horrible cake called the Meister's life - he did not even get the promised party from Talksalot. poor Meister :-( :-( sniff sniff

Well, it has been an eventful last few days in the Meister's life. 

From Monday to Wednesday, the Meister kept on working and working and working....well you get the picture.  He was in office for more than 11 hours everyday till Thursday when he was there for around 10 hours. He only got to leave early because of Lady Really Talksalot.  You see the Meister wanted to give a treat to the Lady and so the Lady had come own to his office. 

I know what you are thinking....you are pondering why the Meister gave a treat to Talksalot.

There were 2 reasons:

1. The Meister is a NICE GUY

2. The Lady is a very good friend of the Meister (despite the fact that she has never invited the Meister for lunch at the Google office in spite of the fact that they worked in the same building)

Anyway, they had a nice dinner in Nan King and they went back to Talksalot's apartment where her roommate Lady Frustratedalot did not even say Hi to the Meister.  Moreover sho got upset coz the Meister did not divulge her blogmonicker to her. She got even more upset on hearing the truth that she will forget all about the Meister in 2 and a 1/2 half..max 3 years.

(Its the truth...everybody forgets the Meister sooner or later...its like the national past time...)

Anyway, on Friday morning, the Meister's oldest and best frind Brandybucks came down to Hyderabad. His train was supposed to reach KGuda at7...and so naturally since the Meister was there from 7, the train had to come at 9.  The Meister passed the time by reading Indian Express, checking out girls, talking to his mother on the phone and playing with a nice cute puppy..

Brandybucks came and the two of them started on their trip of Hyderabad. They went to Charminar,  Golconda and the City Centre (where the Meister bought a Spanish Dictionary). They also went to Eat Street where the Meister was accosted by two very hyperactive females who wanted their pictures taken.

Next day, i.e. Saturday The Great Indian Chunkubaaz also joined them. He, in fact, woke up early, shaved his invisible beard and put on about 875 gms of hairgel in order to get ready. 

They went out and the Meister got a call rom his boss about work.

Poor Meister had to get down and work in an internet parlour for an hour while his friends roamed around in the car. 

After finishing work, the Meister was standing on the road pondering about myriad inconsequential things when he saw a blind guy stumbling around. Being a good fucking samaritan, the Meister went and asked the guy if he could help. The Guy wanted to go to the Stat Bank, so the Meister took him to the State Bank and asked people there and the counter ladies to  help him.....quite a few minutes later (yes... the dynamic dumdums still had not arrived) the Meister again helped the guy to croos the road.

The car finally arrived and the 3 of them went to Salur Jung museum and enjoyed the clocks, the paintings, the sculptures, the weapons and and the assorted glassware (not to mention Mephistopheles and Veiled Rebecca).....the 3 of them also weighed themselves and while the dumdums got tickets wit ha picture of one of the Salar Jungs, the Meister got one of Mephistopheles...wuhooo....The Meister's weight came out to be 83kgs. 

Naturally, the Meister could not believe it and tried tio weigh himself on a different machine. This machine turned out to be a neurotic psychotic or in other words a feminist. It refused to give tickets to guys...3 of them including Meister but gave one to a woman!!!!!

The 3 escaped from the feminist weighing machine and went to the Zoo which is popularly known as ZOO Park. En route, the Meister saw SS's old hunting grounds - the High Court.

They went to the zoo and saw the sad animals and an even sadder human being who should be beaten up once preferably twice a week regularly.  The guy managed to piss off everyone else in the safari bus with his actions and comments.

BTW Chunkubaaz wasted 10 minutes taking a video of a turtle.

The highlight of the event though was seeing the white tiger first eat, then pose, then walk and then finally turning his ass to the public he/she starting to shit. (one small event for a tiger...a giant slap in the ego of mankind!!! hehe)

The Meister also slapped a kid because the kid was throwing rocks at wild boars.

On the way back, they got stuck in traffic but despite all efforts ofthe Hyderbad junta to the contrary managed to reach home on time and then Paradise on time....and had time to go and buy a pearl set for Brandybucks's mother. (suffice to say there was a couple of very hot chicas and 3 very irritating bongs in the jewellery shop.

Sunday brought a surprise in the form of Mr. Fawn (he used to fawn on a certain someone...though technically he wasvery sincere and really in luw). He is now back to India and is doing his Phd.  Good for him.

That brings us to Monday. It was Republic Day...JAI HIND!!  But guess where the Meister was? 

In office. Thankfully he got an early chutti and could go and watch slumdog millionaire with SS, the Birdgirl and Mausiji.  he soon realised that the whole purpose of the invitation for the movie was to get Spanish notes from the Meister.

The Meister being a good guy, came home after the movie and typed out last 2 weeks' notes for them and sent it to them around midnight.

It seems that the Meister is hell bent on proving the old adage - nice guys finish last - wrong, the new adage will be --nice guys neither sleep nor get invited to parties!!! :-(

Bunnymania is Running Wild

Well, this post is because of a request, order, suggestion, instruction, complaint pertaining to the fact that the Meister has never written a post about the 

Bong loving, 

Cluedo playing, 

Roll/Frankie eating, 

Vodka drinking, 

HP singing, 

Poem writing,

Hindi Film ka Posters missing

Soap opera watching, 

Shravan slapping, 

Deutsch speaking, 

Vizag visiting

Glass painting (she is a good painter btw....though the Meister concedes that in all matters art his knowledge and taste ranks between that of a moronic mountain goat and a particularly thick hippopotamus), 

Party hosting,

Meister tolerating (yep, that's true...she tolerates the Meister....a fact that should make her eligible for the Nobel Peace Prize...it's hard work tolerating the Meister you know...even the Meister often does not tolerate the Meister)

friendly neighbourhood heroine. (who btw also has a name resembling a certain animal famous for its reproductive abilities, the use of which prompted a war of words between the Meister and the Special One)

So, Lady Really Talksalot, this one's for thee.

The Meister first met the aforementioned lady in his 1st semester at CIEFL (that land of the free and home of the whackjobs etc etc). The Meister and Lady Talksalot became friends. The Meister liked her and her roommate...the one who was as strong as A MAN. They all used to hang out with His Gayness (who for some evident reasons soon acquired the moniker - Baldankur). The Meister has no problems admitting that he did not and still does not like the other member of that circle- the girl whose name evokes memories of insurances and mutual funds etc. That girl used to snap at the Meister at an average of once every 2.5 days.  

(The Meister hates it when people snap at him...though he should be immune..everyone snaps at the Meister sooner or later...its just a matter of time) 

Anyway the Meister and the Lady even had a class together - Prof Javeed Alam's Secularism. (Don't ask why the Meister ever took that one...he was hoodwinked by Dumbo Christopher who told the Meister that he would have to read only one booklet for the entire course)

Well soon Talksalot fell in louw with the Ganja smoking, Erasex smoking, Beef eating, Bike driving Bong and naturally there grew a distance between the Meister and the Lady as the Meister has never liked and will never like those snotty, hoity fucking toity, supercillious Xaverians. However, once the smoke cleared and the Eresexes vanished, the lad turned out to be a nice guy so everything's fine now. 

Anyway there was hardly any contact between the Meister and Talksalot for a couple of years despite the fact that they used to work in the same building...Talksalot never invited the Meister over for lunch or chocolate.

It took His Gayness's visit to Hyd last summer to bring the two close together again.  

Since then, they 

have had dinner a number of times, 

watched one of the most atrocious movies ever conceived by the human brain, 

have hung out a lot, 

have played a number of games..where Talksalot always wins albeit controversially..., 

have teased their common friend Lady Frustratedalot about her upcoming marriage, 

have designed rangolies during Diwali...no I tell a lie...Talksalot designd and decorated the whole thing- the Meister just criticised... 

have even got drunk together in the New Year's Party....(Meister's 1st New Year's Party btw)...

well Talksalot got drunk and started imitating HP...the Meister was in complete control.....

and have become quite close friends.

Unfortunately, they have really met since that night mainly because of the Meister's atrocious work schedule ( the dumbass is now working around 11-12 hours a day).

P.s: It has to be mentioned that while writing this, the Meister got a total of 43 dirty looks from all 3 of his bosses for wasting company time.

Death or Glory

The Meister has had enough.  He is hell bent on losing weight by hook, crook, sweep, pull, punch, claw, kick etc etc etc.

He has bought a new ab slimmer machine thingy and sources claim that every evening the Meister can be seen doind crunches or at least trying to do crunches. 

(The Meister is a bit worried about these sources actually...who are they? where r they from? and how in the name of sweet fanny adamas are they able to spy on the Meister??? The Meister is eagerly waiting to meet one of these sources so that the Meister can kick his ass.)

Well, who knows whether the Meister will lose weight or not.....right now his estomacho is muy muy hurting...bloody hell!!!!

The Meister has also called up a dietician lady employee of his office's parent company. She has promised to mail a questionnaire, which the Meister has to fill and send it back. Depending on that, the lady will plan a course of action with the Meister. 

Currently, the Meister is around 87 kilos.....he wants to reach the magic number of 80 by the end of the year...the world is agog......the intelligentsia is discussing the topic on every street corner: can the Meister do it?..........whatever anyone else is doing, the Meister is not holding his breath to see what happens coz.....well........its stupid to hold breath.......isn't it?

The Meister is hell bent on this mission...either he will lose weight or he will die in the process.....

Something's wrong in the Kingdom of the Kakatiyas

Fair is foul, and foul is fair: / Hover through the fog and filthy air

This stupendous piece of poetry was written by Shakespeare (who btw was a dude who knew a thing or two about a thing or two....though the Meister often wonders why the dude ever wrote about the nambie pambies like Romio and Juliet and that muppet Hamlet) and The Meister finds it is quite appropriate in today's market condition especially in Telugu country.

Issue 1

the whole satyam rigmarole

Issue 2

The Chunkubaz had an accident. The auto he was travelling in turned turkey. But the Chunkubaz got off without a scratch though he claims that another girl travelling in the auto got her head injured etc etc.....the luck of the Chunku strikes again

Issue 3

Hyderabad's resident superhero - The OCD Man has given up travelling by train. (You might be pondering why that is an issue...simply because OCD Man is obsessed with trains) The Meister opines that our superhero's 2 great nemeses - Butt Atack and Ass Push have finnaly managed to defeat him!!!!

Issue 4

The Meister's good friends SS and the Birdgirl made plans for a double-bill. They watched the 1st movie in Adlabs and hastily arrived in Prasads for the 2nd. They went into the theatre, sat down and was blissfully awaiting the start of the movie....when lo and behold (though not exactly appropriate, the Meister had been waiting a long time to use that expression :-) )...a couple came and politely informed them that the dynamic dumdums were sitting in their seats. Picture or imagine the ensuing confusion for a few seconds.........

.......done imagining? Here's what happened (to quote Adrian Monk, the greatest detective in San Francisco).....

The Birdgirl had actually booked tickets for the next day!!!!

So as a summary, all the Meister can do is to take off his metaphorical hat at the winsome twosome and call the security guards and ushers etc at Prasads - "Numbnuts!"

Issue 5

The Meister's colleague Vandy gets a heat allergy (according to her, not the Meister) in January, in Hyderabad and.....wait for it.............

...

.............

 in an AC room.

Issue 6

Uncle, Kifah and Premankur all contacted the Meister in a space of 2 days...which is highly surprising since usually nobody contacts the Meister

Issue 7

The Meister gets the highest marks in his Spanish exams (technically 2nd highest but well Shahir can be always be disqualified for 1. being the owner and 2. for.... well.....being Shahir). The Meister got 38 out of 50 despite the fact that he only answered questions worth 45 marks (the jackass forgot how to give directions and thus could not answer a question worth 5 marks). 

Another thing which the Meister wants to mention about Spanish class is the fact that OCD Man keeps laughing whenever the verb "poder" is mentioned...the Dimwit!!!!

Issue 8

The Meister gets a holiday  on 14th.

The Meister's Office

Disclaimer: Sissies and nancy boys who are squeemish bugger off....this post is not for you nambi fucking pambies.

So, now that the disclaimer is there, if you read further, you do it on your peril and don't blame the Meister if u get grossed out.

The Meister has found out that most dimwits in his company do not know how to use a commode.

Most of them do not put down the toilet seat and sit on the rim itself.  Not that the Meister is complaining----it means dry seat for the Meister whenever he is using it...

:-)

http://www.spanishinhyderabad.com/

http://www.spanishinhyderabad.com/

I know what u r thinking.....whats up with the link.....well this is the link of the place where the Meister struggles weekly with the language of them conquistadores....yep Espanyol

Well the Meister used to struggle with Espanyol before also...at the weirdly named Sui Generis....untill a silly ass cama and crashed into the Meister's bike...thereby indisposing him for a month...which meant that the Meister could not atend the 2nd part of the course....

So with steelly determination the Meister had once again gone forth to make an ass of himself every week.  

One thing that has to be said is that the course at Maitrise has some of the most eclectic bunch of students ever assembled under one roof...there is The Birdgirl, SS, Mausiji, the girl who brings food, Genelia/ Gunelia/ Gonorea/ Gunria/ Gunelia/ Gurenia/ Geronimo/ Hurelio...i just don't know the girl's name...but come to think of it it can't really be Gonorea now can it?..anyway there's also The OCD Man and The Tinker AKA RHM AKA The Resident Bugger.

The Meister had given (or is it taken) a test last week and is somewhat eagerly awaiting the results....critics claim that he may pass.....although the Meister (AKA DIMWIT) himself is a bit morose coz in the article where he was writing about the love of his life i.e. the Special One he forgot the Spanish words for hair, glasses, beautiful, pleasant, sympathetic etc etc...

the numbnut!!!!!!

A smile is worth a lot

Recently the Meister has realised that you can't put a price to a nice smile...especially a handsome smile that the Meister possesses. For the last 2-3 days people have been queing up to help the Meister...which makes a pleasant change to the Meister's life coz usually nobody bothers.  Anyway, it all started the day before yesterday early morning when a man suddenly offered the Meister a lift to Tarnaka, all because the Meister had politely waited for him beside a hole in order to let him pass easily. The Meister coul;d not take up the offer as he was going to the station to catch the MMTS. In the MMTS, one of the regular passengers actually had saved a seat for the Meister (something which never happens). 

Once he reached office, he saw the gates closed as usual. (The Meister is the 1st tocome to office on 98% of the days) So he sat on the stairs. The security guard of the floor below was passing by and seeing the Meister suddenly hurriedly went and brought water for him.  Again probably because the Meister smiles at him every morning and waves at him every evening while leaving. 

To top it all, while he was sitting, an officer from another office came and actually offered him the chance to go and sit in his office till the Meister's office's gate opens. The Meister has now met him almost everyday and has struck up a casual friendship, their last 2 topics of discussion were the reading habits of the guy's kid daughter( who although around 14 read the Animal farm and apparently at midnight pestered the guy saying "papa the windmill died") and why the Meister is still not getting married and is planning never to. Weird indeed.  

Trip

Last month, with a smile on his face and money in wallet, the Meister went to visit Orissa. The Sandman accompanied him. They left via the Faluknama Express where the curse of the fatman struck again btw. Out of more than 2000 windows in the entire train, guess which was cracked???

Anyway, they had an interesting journey with some quite nice co-passengers. Upon reaching Bhubaneshwar, they got a hotel and the Meister realised that the shorts that he was wearing had a big ass hole in the groin area!!!!

The Meister had a wonderful time in Orissa where he saw some of the loveliest temples and architechture imaginable and continuing the tradition he got right-wing guides in Orissa as well.

The only discordant note in the proceddings was struck by Baldilocks who joined them after a day. Baldilocks came and then went off to meet one of his gay friends, then joined the Meister in the afternoon to visit Khandagiri and then next day complained of sickness and left (he was supposed to be with the Meister and the Sandman throughout the entire trip but I guess he was bored with the company).

On the way from Bhubaneshwar to Puri, the friendly neighborhood autowallah (who doubled as the guide for all the days of the trip) took the awesome twosome to Raghuraj and Pipli, the handicrafts villages. The Meister had the time of his life in Raghurajpur looking at the tons and tons of beautiful artwork and the impromptu Gutipua dance which the kids performed only for him (the kids were awesome and the way they were contorting their bodies were freakish and scary to say the least). The curse of the fatman struck again...the batteries ran away and alas the Meister could not take any pictures of the performance.

Snippets of the Past Week

It all started with the Meister's mum getting very sick and scaring the bejesus out of the Meister. Thankfully it was just a temporay illness.

The Meister flew down to Hyderbad (Vandy helped in conforming the flight timings etc so thanks to her) and resisted the temptation to get an auto home as the autowallas were demanding 300 bucks. Instead he took the bus and actually persuaded the busdriver and got down in front of NIN. The driver was grumbling but the Meister chooses to ignore such things.  From the NIN to home the Meister walked with 2 pieces of luggage - a backpack and a bigass piece of suitcase. So yeah Meister.

The Meister reached home and got a nice welcome from his friend the Chunkubaaz, who had thoughtfully bought food (though he is in luw....the Meister understands that things are not going well as the girl in question is nuts....well which girl isn't)

The Meister rejoined work the next day and spent the whole day..................................................................................................................wait for it......................................................................................................................................................................................

reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in office.

eat ur hearts out suckers in boring jobs...hihaw hihaw

o almost forgot to report that the Meister's friend, the OCD got into a fight with an autowallah and bashed the autowallah up....o how the Meister wishes that he was present to see that beautiful event.

 

Old Friends and Acquaintances

The Meister usually does not meet anyone or to be precise no one meets the Meister. However in the last 1 week the Meister has met quite a lot of people who were a part of the Meister's life in the past.

The Meister attended Yohamba's wedding and met Bishwajit, Jijo, Philo, Shouvick, Piku and Pragya..not to mention Hamba himself and his new wife who btw was quite shocked upon meeting the Meister. Th Meister also met his old college teachers RDG and PC and was quite pleasantly surpised that they were impressed that hte Meister is now an Instructional Designer. 

After coming back to Hyderabad, in the space of 24 hours, the Meister met Prashanti (who is nowadays chiring bal badhing anti in Motorola) and to his great surprise, Brotinda (who is back in Hyderabad and is Married!!!)

Brotinda married!!! The mind Boggles!!!!!

Bad day bad day bad day

Well, so far today has been a bad day in the Meister's life. In some weird way it has also affected people around the Meister.

The Meister woke up on time but was so engrossed in a NBA match that he forgot to a) wear his lockets and b) to get the earphones. So he rushed to the station and lo and behold.. the fucking train was 15 minutes late and when it did come, the fans in the train weren't working...so the Meister sweated and sweated like a singularis porkus...although the Meister has to be candid..he has never seen a member of that particular mammal family actually sweat.

Anyway so the Meister came to work and had to listen to a lecture for 3 hours. Now I know what you guys are thinking, "How did the Meister stay awake for so long?" The Meister is once again truthful..it was touch and go for quite a while..the fact that it was potentially helpful to his career probably kept him awake.

ooh..oohh..almost forgot to mention that in the train a dude was shoving the Meister to get on board the train and again to get a seat...neither did the numbnut get a seat but in fact he lost his mobile in the process....just proves that Karma works in mysterious ways.

To top all this..the Meister's friend and colleague Vandy actually ate their boss's lunch...yep she actually did that..the poor boss was so hungryand bugged it was sight to behold (what actually happened was that the officeboy got confused and did 'hniya ha mal hnua' but it was so much fun...it brightened up the Meister's day considerably...let's observe what else happens...