Cock-a-Doodle-Fucking-Do

Sometimes it feels like the whole world is against the Meister, especially when the Meister is sleeping. 

This has been going on for so long that it can't be a coincidence. 

First there are the damn birds. The stupid buggers always make it a point to come near the Meister's window...or at least used to prior to the Meister shifting to his current home.....to singtheir morning songs. The Meister has nothing against birds singing and trying to attract female birds in order to get laid....but why in the name of all that is short, sweet and bald do they have to do it near the Meister's window?????

Then there are the stupid roosters or at least the specific rooster dude who used to hang around the Meister's previous apartment all day just waiting for an opportunity to start bellowing at the top of his tiny lungs.....and that always used to happen at 2 fucking thirty or 3 fucking o clock at night. The Meister knows that roosters are supposed to shout at sunrise...as a sort of ancient alarm clock for the village people........but at 2.30 or 3 in the night...come on!!!! The Meister's parents (the insane loonies) always used to claim (during the Meister's college days) that the Meister's internal body clock would get bloody scewered and all if he kept on staying away all night watching quality adult entertainment. 

But if there is anyone in this planet with a messed up internal clock, its that damn rooster. 

That brings the Meister to the alleged higher forms of life (according to that Darwin dude at least) - mankind. 

There are the Meister's upstairs neighbours, who having recntly bought some hi-fi sound sytem feels compelled to play it as loudly as they can till 1 in the night and then there are the Meister's next door neighbour. The Insomniac lady fells compelled to wash and jharufai her surroundings everyday at 6 and then wash her clothes by max 730. Not thta she has lots of work to do or anything. Her daughter goes off to school and the guy living with her (who the Meister presumes is her husband (although that may not be the case....what does the Meister care....and anyway this isthe 21st century) goes off to work and the lady has lamost nothing eldse ot do all day except chat with her neighbours but nonetheless she has to star jharufying at 6!!! Stupid insomniac woman.

That brings us to the highest form of mankind (in his own hallucinogenic mind) - The Great Indian Chunkubaaz. The Meister is sure that the Chunku lurks near the parking lot of the Meister's apartment just waiting for the Meister to return home from work.  The moment he sees the Meister walking, he runs up, takes off his clothes, covers himself in a towel and enters the bathroom. Once the Meister comes to his apartment door, the poor guy has to knock the door for at least 5 minutes and bellow "Chunku!!" at the top of his considerable lungs....which btw is a source of immense entertainment and merriment to the 3 dozen or so kids who live in the house beside Meister's...the kids also sometime join the Meister and start shouting "Bunku!!", "Munku!!" and "Shunku!!" among other things. 

Anyway, the Chunku goes to sleep at around 3 in the night after chatting with boudis from all over the continent, and the nwakes up at 7 and goes in the bathroom where he splashes about for half an hour. Chunku's bathroom being next to the Meister's bedroom, this phenomenon almlost inevitably disturbs the Meister's sleep.

So all in all, the Meister has had a torrid time sleeping or trying to sleep. All the Meister's worries about the Special One and Chelsea to all this din and commotion, no wonderthe Meister is not getting enough rest and hence is collapsing more frequently than polictical parties calling bandhs in Kolkata.

All this is probably the handiwork of that secret organisation committed to the utter destruction and annihilation of the Meister - all the Meisterhaters of the world comprising the communists, the feminists, the cultural studies group of CIEFL and the Special One....They are the ones to contract the rooster to make a bloody ass of himself and they are the ones to recruit the world biggest moneylover - the man who thinks he is a woman when he enters a bathroom - The Great Indian Chunkubaaz.